save your marriage, valentine's day, marriage, self help, relationship advice

Has Your Relationship Lost Its Spark?

You’d better do something about it! Have your marriage back on track by Valentine’s Day by following these tips, in no particular order.

Make your partner feel special

Sometimes relationships start to flounder because no one feels important anymore. Make your partner feel like they’re special to you, the way they used to feel when the relationship was new – the way YOU used to feel when the relationship was new. If you can rekindle that spark, you’ll be on your way to a future together, not apart.

Try sparking a memory – a positive memory. Take your wife on a little outing to the place where you proposed to her. Make a date out of it, have some dinner; maybe some wine. Try going to the place where you had your first date. Do something that reminds you of the strong emotions you once had for each other. Remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Keep The Respect

People are always going to have disagreements. It isn’t possible to live with someone and not disagree from time to time, whether it’s your spouse, your parents, siblings, or a roommate. No two people see eyrings, marriage, self help, relationship advice, tips, save your marriagee to eye 100% of the time. It’s important to remember this and not feel like you’re failing when you disagree about something.
Fighting is inevitable but remember to always be respectful. You can disagree without being mean, rude, or hurtful. When someone feels disrespected, they tend to either be nasty right back or put up defenses which may include a wall that blocks the other person out emotionally. If this has already happened in your relationship, try sitting down and having an adult conversation about it. This is sometimes easier said than done at this stage, but make an effort. Tell him/her that you realize the mistakes you have made and that you want to make things better.

Apologize

Let go of your pride and just say that you’re sorry for the mistakes you have made, the way things have turned out, the things you have said – whatever. If you’re willing to try and make things better, tell the other person how you feel. Apologizing and accepting responsibility for things going wrong is a big step in the right direction. If you accept responsibility for things, your partner is likely to see that they need to do the same. Eventually…

Don’t Place Blame

When you’re apologizing, don’t make it about how they have done you wrong, what they have said to you, or how they have hurt you. Everyone knows that relationships and their outcomes are a two-way street, but for now just apologize on your own behalf.
Remember that you have been preparing for this apology, and it may take your spouse some time to prepare theirs. Don’t make them feel bad for not apologizing when you do. Once you start changing your behavior and, most notably, your reactions, your spouse is very likely to change theirs, as well.

Don’t Let A Fight Break Out

Maybe you’ve reached a point in your relationship where you fight about everything, or maybe you’ve passed that stage altogether.
This might be a cheesy example but if you can look at that person and say, “I don’t want to fight, I just want to love you”, do you think they would think twice about why you’re fighting? Probably! People get feeling defensive and offensive but when you can convince them you’ve dropped your sword, they will probably drop their shield.
I am also posting a short 2 minute video I saw recently titled “How Can I Make Your Day Better?” It will be at the bottom of this post and it’s worth watching! Addendum – this video was deleted but I found a bad copy of it which is now below.
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Make Memories

Go make some new memories. Maybe it’s been a little too long and things have gone stale. Do something that you used to do together that you both really enjoyed, or find something completely new to try.

Take a road trip, go on vacation somewhere, go zip-lining, go wine tasting, go camping, boating, be tourists for a day in your own city. Find something meaningful and memorable that you will both enjoy. Then, do it again!

I hope these tips have helped you figure out what you could do to strengthen your relationship. Leave a comment if you have any other tips to add, questions to ask, or other ideas about relationship fixes. Watch this short video!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FDd85BZsk8
Save Your Marriage By Valentine’s Day
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4 thoughts on “Save Your Marriage By Valentine’s Day

  • January 12, 2017 at 11:42 am
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    Great tips on how to save your marriage by valentine’s day.
    Every relationship after so many years will loose it’s spark and it’s important to rekindle that spark and make the effort to keep it going. I’ve been married for almost 17 years and have had ups and downs like any relationship.
    I really enjoyed the “how can i make your day better?” video. I will put that into practice. 🙂

    Reply
    • January 12, 2017 at 8:47 pm
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      I’m glad you enjoyed the video! I found it inspirational. Sometimes all it takes is the tiniest effort to make a big change. Congratulations on having been married for 17 years!

      Reply
  • January 12, 2017 at 1:03 pm
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    Marriages definitely take work, even the “best” ones where you’re great friends and lovers. I think the tough years for us have been the ones lately with our two little kids who don’t sleep well. Meaning, we don’t sleep well. And when they’re up, they’re very, very busy kids. We’re often really tired and just want to crash/veg on the couch once we get them in bed, and we don’t spend time connecting or making new memories of just the two of us like we did pre-kids. Babysitters are pricey, so no regular date nights either. I know it’s just a phase, but it’s so important to still make “the two of us” a priority. Not always sure how to do that though…

    Reply
    • January 12, 2017 at 9:12 pm
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      Hi Marlaine,
      Thanks for the comment. I know how difficult it can be to have small children and how they can affect relationships. I don’t have children but all my close friends do, and I witness the ups and downs. You have to invest time and energy in your marriage if you want it to last. Babysitters are expensive, but once a month is better than never. Mommy-daddy-only time is absolutely crucial. Beg your friends or parents to babysit. Your date doesn’t need to be an expensive dinner, either. It can be at home when the kids are gone to grandma’s, or out for a walk in the park. Kids know when there is tension in their parents’ relationship, and that’s when they’re more prone to act out.

      Reply

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